What I thought I would do today is head back towards a style of writing I experimented with a couple of weeks ago, in a piece of poetry entitled The Ballad of a Self-Diagnosed Doormat (https://adamdlester17.wordpress.com/2015/05/21/the-ballad-of-a-self-diagnosed-doormat-poetry-extract/). It was basically a more comical approach to topics I often write about, with less imagery and more sarcasm and bluntess. As I felt like doing something different I have gone back to that style of writing for a change and experimented with the source material that inspires me, I hope you all enjoy!
Why should I seek forgiveness from you?
you hold no authority or prestige
I do not bend to your sense of entitlement
you’ll receive no apologies I’m afraid
not until you extend the same courtesy
of course hold a grudge against me for literally anything!
meanwhile I’ll forgive everything you’ve done
consider yourself absolved of all actions
calling me useless and a shit boyfriend
insulting my writing
lying about loving me
removing me from my friends because of jealousy
restricting which gender I speak to
accusing me of cheating on you with a best friend
hitting me repeatedly
breaking the skin on my face
then calling me a coward for “not taking it like a man”
speaking the words “poor ickle Adam can’t take a hit from a fucking girl”
telling me you hope I die alone
laughing at the thought of my stomach operation going wrong
sending me pictures of your freshly cut skin
lying to me beyond measure
lying to the authorities and threatening everything I have worked for
yes of course all of those are fine!
I did send a thank you card, must have got lost in the post
do you honestly think I need to apologise to you?
what fucking universe do you live in?
when you have addressed the previous points and more
when you remove yourself from your fucking high horse
when you re enter Earth’s atmosphere
then and only then
will I consider listening
it is futile to believe this will ever happen
you will never feel remorse for your actions
I ask why you ever hit me
how you could ever hit someone you claim to love
you will never be able to answer that question
and that in itself is a loud enough answer
blame it on voices in your head
on past traumas from childhood
blame it on anger like a coward
or you could take some responsibility
admit for once that you have problems
either way do not take your anger out on me
do not try to end your life in front of me
do not dare assume I owe you anything
least of all an apology
instead sit in silence
that speaks loud enough for your vile actions
it says more than you will ever be capable of
Thank you all very much for taking the time to read this piece. If you have any thoughts on it then please feel free to leave comments below and I shall respond as soon as I can.
I probably won’t have another piece ready until the start of next week now but I hope you all have a great weekend!