If Tim Burton wants to have fancy dress parties with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter then fine, but we don’t need to see them. I love Burton as a filmmaker, but I want to slap him around the face with a shoe and tell him to snap out of his annoying new routine of making fucking awful films. This uninspired, needlessly bleak piece of rubbish serves as the perfect advert for short term memory loss caused by a serious head injury. Ultimately it slots perfectly into Burton’s back catalogue with the other rancid films he’s made post-Corpse Bride.
Steve McQueen directs and co-writes this emotional look into sexuality, love and modern life. Michael Fassbender is fantastic in the central role, with Carey Mulligan proving evermore that she is an acting force to be reckoned with. It’s a harsh and gritty film about a a character struggling with age, and the subsequent destruction of the body and soul caused by his actions. It is one of the most perfect films I have ever seen; Steve McQueen is undoubtedly one of the finest artists of our time and this is just one of his masterpieces.
I think this will always remain one of my favourite Woody Allen films. It’s a fantastic example of a comedy where every element is polished, not to perfection, but enough to make it a piece of cinema that really stands out. The cast works perfectly, giving excellent standalone performances, most notably from Michael Caine who is exceptional as a middle aged man struggling to contain his own emotions. What really stands out for me is the speech from Woody Allen’s character, Mickey, towards the end of the film, which will always be one of the most perfect moments of cinema.
If you’re looking for that increasingly popular comedy that isn’t actually funny, then this is the film for you! A dull and uninteresting film that will cause a normal person to possibly chuckle on a maximum of two occasions, and then pray that the film is cut short by an asteroid hitting the projection booth. I would rather take a bath with an electrical appliance than sit through this god awful film again. But of course mainstream audiences threw money at it, making them think it’s a good film and encouraging them to make a sequel. Congratu-fucking-lations geniuses.