Right, so where was I?

I may as well continue with my post from yesterday about reality t.v. and all of the delights it doesn’t have to offer. If you read that post you’ll know that towards the end I started to rant about this Rylan character who has emerged (not victoriously) from the latest series of The X Factor. Just as all of my anger for this pathetic excuse for human was vented into yesterday’s post, I look on Twitter and see his name plastered all over my homepage. Why’s that I hear you say? Because he’s just entered the Big Brother house. Oh good.

It may be an absolutely terrible situation because he’s an awful person going on an even worse show, but it illustrates my point so clearly; he is a not a celebrity or talented in any form.

If he was a celebrity and had talent then his career would be soaring, he would have job offers being thrown at him left-right-and-center. He would not be signing himself up for what is essentially career cancer. Celebrity Big Brother is for the needy. It’s for those people who are so desperate to see their name planted on the television screen, they are willing to loose all of their credibility and kill any chance of a future in the television industry. But the funny thing is, it’s usually something that comes later in a career, when someone’s fame has lost all of it’s power, five years down the line Celebrity Big Brother is the perfect plug socket for them to recharge the batteries.

Rylan has signed up for it without the fall in his career first. That’s because he doesn’t have a career.

He is a failed singer/ entertainer who is now willing to be watched by the masses 24/7 in order to become famous. Yes he’s so desperate he is willing to let the general public witness him annoy the other housemates, embarrass himself during tasks before finally having an emotional break down resulting in an unhealthy addiction to mars bars and self esteem problems. Knowing our luck he’ll have a book sorted by the time he’s out of the house. Maybe it will be just as good as his Mentor’s book. ‘Being Jordan’ by Katie Price is one of the best pieces of literature of the modern age, it really helped me to fill a gap in my life. By gap I mean it was successful at propping the door open in the summer. That’s all the uses it has.

But oh no wait, the contestants have already said “it’s about the experience not the fame” which just shows their stupidity further because they are either terrible liars or people who genuinely want to participate in that shambolic mess of a show, and Rylan is a prime example of one of those people. It is safe to say he is an idiot, and not just any kind of idiot, a desperate one too. One that the broadcasters can exploit to get viewers while the participant has one last bash at fame and glory.

The sad thing is the people who go on the show do actually achieve fame, but luckily for the wrong reasons. They don’t become known as the brilliant entertainer, or the amazing singer, instead they become known as the one who took their top off, covered themselves in porridge whilst badly singing “Pappa don’t preach” like a Yorkshire Terrier. How very credible.

Now I like to structure my arguments and try my best to include a “however” section, which is difficult in this case. It would require me to have a little think about how much more there is to the show and what positives there are to the concept.

I did. There aren’t any.

So when the endless complaints flood in about how terrible it is, and how annoying it is, the only people that are to blame is yourselves if you watch the show. You encourage the making of this program by watching it in the first place. Being one viewer out of several million is your participation is encouraging them to do more. Shame on you.

Unless you’re like me of course and realise if there’s nothing decent on the television to watch, there is always a good book to be read instead. In which case I wish you well for the future, while the reality t.v. obsessives of our nation have to be prized of their television sets using a spatula, to wipe their dribble off the screen as a way of preventing any electrical accidents from occurring.

God help us all.