Yes it’s been established so many times before that this is 2013. 2012 is over, it’s fresh start, a new beginning, a chance to change for the better! Yes granted, but there are still some things that will never change or maybe in fact get worse. That little niggle that remains constant. That little scab that gets brushed off before the wound can finally heal. If you hadn’t guessed from these hints and the title I’m talking about reality television.
This entry has been inspired by the latest atrocity to the reality tv family entitled ‘That dog can dance’. That’s right folks, we’ve become so desperate for entertainment that we have to bring animals in to the equation just keep the smile on our faces and money in Simon Cowell’s pocket. Genius.
Just as the X Factor had finally finished and we thought we were in the clear, that awful excuse for a television show had to appear on screen. I’ve heard the comments about it saying “It was terrible, but thank god it was just a one off”but they’re too optimistic, it doesn’t even deserve a one off, it deserves to be put out of it’s misery before it even reaches the pilot stages. If you need an explanation of what a pilot is I refer you of course to the speech made by Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction. It does a better job of explaining than I do.
Writing this reminded me of an article I read the other day about reality tv. Apparently there is genuinely a program where women compete to win nose jobs and liposuction before the day of their weddings. Which made me feel sick to the pit of my stomach. As if regular reality t.v. shows were bad enough, they had to turn it up to eleven and make one that is truly unnatural. It is shows such as this that make me lose faith in the human race. If the future generation our country has in store, is filled with people who enjoy watching this show, good luck finding a reasonable applicant for the future PM. In fact good luck finding someone who can spell PM.
The only thing worse than the reality tv shows such as The X Factor that are being offloaded like black market meat, is the fact that people still watch them and encourage them. The viewing figures are what basically whisper in Simon Cowell’s ear saying “Go on, make another series!” because inevitably of course he is the one sat holding all of the Aces, he decides what is what and who will become famous. I’m sorry to those who are under the assumption that the winners are the best contestants but they’re not. They’re the ones who will make Cowell the most money.
There was a brilliant quote from The Hunger Games last year that came from the character of Gale (played by Liam Hemsworth) who said “What if they did it? Just one year. What if everyone stopped watching?”. I think that is brilliant because it is basically what the situation is; the public has the power to stop these shows being made, but do we use it? No. Of course we don’t. We would rather see a desperate 46 year old man who still lives with his parents and believes he can sing like David Bowie. Aren’t we clever.
So they’re churning out winner after winner who each get their five minutes of glory before being pushed to the bottom of the Z List where they remain until four years time when they release their “Greatist hits”. Which incidentally is what annoyed me recently, because I didn’t watch this series of the X Factor, I’ve avoided it like the plague for four years now, but I still heard about this Rylan person. So I was looking down iTunes the other day and saw that a new album has been released by this moron entitled “Greatest hits”. Which is a complete load of rubbish. Why has he gotten a record deal? And furthermore why is it entitled his greatest hits? they’re not even his songs! He needs to have some hits first before he can sort through what his greatest ones are! In fact anybody who gets famous through a reality talent show needs to show their so called “talent” and actually write their own songs.
Why has Rylan become famous with a record deal? Because Katie Price has become his friend and thrown him a life line. That sums it up really. Tweedle dum and Tweedle stupid right there.
So for those who breath a sigh of relief as the Victorian Freak Show closes off, don’t get too carried away because it’s just doing a lap of the block. It’ll be back before you know it, with even more torturous shows to plague our screens. What’s next? “Celebrity Bikini Wax”?, “That cat can tell jokes”?, “That coma patient can dance badly if we poke them with a tazer”? I can’t wait to see how humans are exploited next.
Happy New Year to us.